The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a movie with an impossible premise. It is impossible to be born old and die young, but along the way, Benjamin Button has life experiences that all of us can probably relate to. Heartbreak, disappointment, hope, love, and all of the possibilities of human emotion come his way. He is not a saint. He partakes of all that life brings his way. He does good things. He does immoral things. He has a "live and let live" outlook on life. In some ways, he is like many of us. Certain themes emerge before movie's end:

1. Death is as natural as life.

2. The stages of life are all natural and to be embraced.

3. All people should be accepted and loved, regardless of their place on the journey.

4. It is never to late to change your goals, and embrace your hopes and dreams.

5. We can't change the choices we have made, but we are always free to make new choices that might produce better outcomes.

In this season of Pentecost we stand between the Sunday of the Samaritan Woman and the Sunday of the Blind Man. One might argue that both St. Photina, and

St. Celidonius probably thought that their life courses had been set until the moments when they encountered Jesus. One became an evangelist of the most unlikely type, and the other, according the church tradition, became a missionary in the area that is now called France.

The Bible and Church tradition are filled with people whose life courses have been set but disrupted by an encounter with the Triune God: the Holy Apostles, Joseph of Arimethea, Nicodemus, Saul of Tarsus, Mary of Egypt, Constantine…

In this season of Pentecost and in every season may all of us be open to the workings of the Holy Spirit of God. May none of us think that we are too old, or too far gone to be used of God. Benjamin Button died in the arms of one whom he had gone to great lengths to love, one who came to love him with a pure love. May we all die loved, and be carried to the arms of our Loving Saviour along with His Father, and the Holy Spirit to Whom belong all honor, glory, and worship forever.

Holy Friday 2010

Last night I experienced the Service of the 12 Gospels, our introduction into the events of Holy Friday. It can be a grueling service. Three hours on your feet, three hours of suffering, having to hear of the betrayal of Christ, of His suffering, and of His death, as you realize that you have betrayed Him, that you have been a part of His suffering.

But, it comes with preparation: the Lenten Fast, and the preceding days and nights of Holy Week. I have come to the conclusion that it is impossible to relate to someone (whether he is non-Orthodox, or an Orthodox who does not partake of the discipline of the Church year) the riches of the Orthodox life, the riches of the sacramental, corporate worship that we enjoy. Nothing in my previous experience compares with it, nothing in my previous life prepared me for its riches.

We sing: "Today hangs from the cross He who hung the earth over the waters. He who is king of the angels is crowned with thorns. Vain purple is thrown over him who casts the sky over the clouds…."

I pray that with each Holy Week that God grant's me that I will be more conscious of what a sinner I am, of how far short I come of the Kingdom, of how much more I am in need of His grace, of how much more I need to do to live the life of Christ, of how much more I need to shed the attachments of this world.

Tonight I will attend the Burial Service of our Lord. The entombment is compared to Moses being hid in the cleft of the rock on Sinai, the resurrection is prefigured in the story of Job being raised up from his sufferings, the words of St. Paul are read: "We preach Christ Jesus crucified…. " The icon of Christ will be put in the tomb, and it will be carried in procession out of the church building. To those passing by it will be a reminder of what Jesus Christ did for them, and continues to do for them whether they accept it or not.

As a monk of the eastern church has said, "It is not enough that on this Holy Friday I should embrace the Cross and the mystery of my salvation through my faith, or in contrition. I must try to obtain from the lips of the Saviour Himself a word of forgiveness. Perhaps I shall hear a word, which is totally personal, spoken by Jesus in the secret depths of my soul. But such a word of forgiveness spoken by the Church or through Scripture has the same value as this intimate declaration, if I know how to welcome it as the word of the Saviour himself. On this Holy Friday, have I sought a word of forgiveness?"

St. John Climacus and St. Mary of Egypt

As we approach the last week of Lent I am thinking about this past Sunday, and the one upcoming. Last Sunday was the day of St. John Climacus. His treatise, "The Ladder of Divine Ascent" points us to the need for discipline, ascesis, in our lives. I remember vividly being at Voronet Monastery in Bucovina, Romania and seeing their rendition of his ladder

on the wall of the chapel. I wasn't Orthodox at the time, but I was struck by the message: we can fall at any time, no matter where we are on the spiritual path, no matter how much we know about God, no matter how well we know God, no matter what others think of us. St. John Climacus cautions us to be systematic in our spiritual walk, and not to take anything for granted.

This upcoming week, this last Sunday of Lent is that of St. Mary of Egypt . Her story

is absolutely incredible and I would commend you to look it up and read it for yourself. She was the epitome of a sinner: a prostitute who planned to seduce pilgrims traveling to the Holy Land. Her conversion and subsequent life is one of the greatest examples of crucifying the flesh, and living for God. As Fr. Lev Gillett has said,

"She is a symbol of conversion, of contrition, and of austerity. On this last Sunday of Lent , she expresses the last and most urgent call that the Church addresses to us before the sacred days of the Passion and the Resurrection."

We might think that Mary of Egypt was so bad that she was not even on the ladder to heaven. We might be quick to compare ourselves to her. But, in the comparing we have already placed ourselves well below her on the ladder. Her message to us is that no matter how sinful we are, no matter how fleshly we are, no matter what we have done, there is always hope. And, there is always the opportunity to do something ourselves about our behavior. As the Forerunner said, "repent". I have much to repent of each day. Lord willing, I will have less to repent of tomorrow than I have today. As Abba Dorotheos has said, don't let our passions become habits. Let us root out our habits before they grow too large. St. John Climacus points the way. St. Mary of Egypt points the way. In these last days of Lent, may all of us redouble our efforts that we might find more of God's grace and mercy in the days to come.

Sergeant York

"Sergeant York" is one of those old films that I enjoy revisiting from time to time. Part of the attraction has to do with the setting. It is very much like that part of western North Carolina that some of my family came from. It is a movie with values, morals, and struggles. And, it is a movie that is loosely based on the real life experiences of Alvin York, the most decorated American soldier of World War I. What has this to do with Orthodoxy? The people in the movie all attend the same little protestant church. There is one religious authority in town: the preacher who also runs the general store. In the movie, a traveling salesman stops in at the store and asks someone, "the roads are so bad, how did you all get into this valley". He was told, "we were born here". It got me thinking about all of those people who never ever have a chance to visit an Orthodox Church. I guess it's like the old "what about the heathen in Africa" question. I guess the answer is that God is merciful and He loves mankind, and it's not up to us to worry about it.

More importantly, for the non-Orthodox, what about your brushes with Orthodoxy? I can remember mine. The first was as an undergrad. I had to read a couple of books about Orthodoxy in a religious survey course. Of course, they were dry, historical, and after all, I already had the right faith. Then there was the Greek Orthodox Church that sat directly across the street from Dallas Theological Seminary as well as my apartment when I was student there in 1979. Of course, I never went in since there wasn't any point. I thought the priest looked a little strange as he came and went----not like any Protestant preachers that I knew. But, they did have that bazaar once a year and the food was good. At some point after that I remember reading the Church Fathers. I tossed them because what they said didn't correspond with what I knew to be true. The next time was in 1997 when I went to Romania to build Baptist Churches. I remember a high school age girl puzzling over why we were there. "We are already Christian, you know!" I didn't get her response at the time. I did appreciate the spirituality of the Baptist Romanians. Now, I understand that it was the spirituality that they had learned as they were raised by Orthodox families in that wonderful Orthodox country. In the next five years I made many trips to Romania, and had the opportunity to visit Orthodox Churches and monasteries. I was puzzled by all of the acts of devotion that I saw as people entered churches. I didn't understand why there were bodies under glass in plain view, and why people lit candles, and kissed the icons on the walls. I was moved to tears at the spirit of a young Romanian monk in northern Romania. He knew no English, but he spoke to me in his manner, and in his peacefulness. I was amazed as a bell rang and all of the doors around the walls of the monastery opened up and all of these men in black, some old, some young, some stooped, and some spritely came out for the evening meal. I didn't understand why they were so serious about their faith, and why they were working so hard. After all, we are saved by faith, aren't we?

Someone has said, "we are responsible for the light we are given". I have read the Church Fathers talk about the greater accountability that come with greater spiritual knowledge and experience. Our Master spoke in a parable about making the best use of what we are given. Once I was open to the facts of faith and history, I had no choice but to become Orthodox. I would like to think that I was finally responsive to the light that had been given me.

My personal conviction is that the toughness of God's means of bringing us to faith corresponds equally to the hardness of our skulls and hearts. I know what it took to bring me to faith. It took the Lord Himself appearing on the road to bring St. Paul to faith. It took three nights enveloped in gastric juices to bring the prophet Jonah to obedience. In "Sergeant York" it took a lightening bolt that knocked the shoes off the mule he was riding and melted his shotgun to sober him up. If there had been an Orthodox Church in his valley he would have ended up there.

I have a long way to go, as I am a very imperfect creature. But, I do take comfort in all of the spiritual food that the Orthodox Church provides for me. At this time of the year it comes in the form of Lenten discipline. All during the year it is being able to receive the very Body and Blood of Christ at each Divine Liturgy. The words that we sing after we receive Holy Communion are not lost on me: "We have seen the true light, we have received the heavenly Spirit, we have found the truth faith, we adore the undivided Holy Trinity, Who has saved us!"

May God be merciful to all of us. Let us not ignore the light that we are given each day.

Sunday of The Publican and the Pharisee

Tomorrow begins our preparation for Great and Holy Lent. It is the Sunday of the Publican and the Pharisee. Fr. Lev Gillet, of blessed memory, in his book entitled "The Year of Grace of the Lord" says much about this parable:

-it may be the most dangerous of all the parables

-the Pharisee was doing many good things, he fasts, tithes, and avoids the grosser sins

-the Pharisee does not take credit for his own good actions

-but, the Pharisee was not aware of his own shortcomings

-and, the Pharisee dares to compare himself, through pride, with another

-the publican confesses his sin, and stands humbly before God

-the publican throws himself completely at the mercy of God

Fr. Gillet questions whether we can completely condemn the Pharisee. Do we have his good works?

Fr. Gillet questions whether we can place ourselves on the level of the justified publican. Is our attitude exactly like that of the publican? Do we have the publican's humility and repentance?

These are questions that we would all do well to ask of ourselves as we begin the preparation for this Great and Holy time of our liturgical year.

On Color

Sipping a cup of coffee, I glanced out my window and noticed a blue jay on my deck rail. I am not particularly fond of blue jays. They do not exhibit the best of attributes when around birds of other feathers. But, I was struck with how colorful he was against the backdrop of a monochromatic January morning. He was striking. All of that blue against all of that brown.

Imagine what it was (or is) to live in a culture where there are no unnatural colors: television and theatre images, artwork, polished stones, or refined precious metals. Without these things, there has to be a greater appreciation for sunsets and sunrises, flowers, beautiful birds and other colorful creatures. Man craves color because it is beautiful, and sometimes scarce. He is drawn to it. Left to his own devices he sometimes worships it, or kills for it.

When man is in harmony with his Triune Creator he can come to appreciate color for what it is: a gift to remind him of from Whom he has come, a gift to remind him of what is to come.

The Greening of Me

I was never aware of exactly why I was against what was, at one time, called the Ecology Movement, and is now called the Green Movement. But, in recent months, as I have had the opportunity to meet personally with the "Green Patriarch" and to read his writings and to incorporate his thoughts with my thoughts and my readings of patristic sources, it has become clear as to me.

My disdain for ecological movements had more to do with those people and groups who were pushing the agenda than it did with the agenda itself. In my thinking, Earth Day in the 1970's was a time for the lunatic fringe to come out and smoke some all natural dope, bake a cake for the earth (and have the wind blow it out), hang some magic crystals from the nearest tree, and then rant and rave about the Military Industrial Complex. These people did not believe in the same God that I did (if they believed in a personal God at all.) In more recent years (because of my disdain for much of the liberal Democratic agenda) I have had a very hard time hearing the ecological words of Al Gore. I have appreciated the words and involvement of Bono on the subject, but he still seems to lead the life of a rock star....

As an Orthodox Christian I need to judge the message and not the messenger. Thankfully, there is enough within the Orthodox tradition on the topic to focus on. Man is seen as the nexus between the spiritual and the material world.

St. Maximus the Confessor (6th century) wrote: "Man is not a being isolated from the rest of creation. By his very nature, he is bound up with the whole of the universe.... In his way to union with God, man in no way leaves creatures aside, but gathers together in his love the whole cosmos disordered by sin, that it may be transfigured by grace."

St. Basil the Great wrote: "I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you a clear remembrance of the Creator.... One blade of grass or one speck of dust is enough to occupy your entire mind in beholding the art with which it has been made." I would hope that we might encourage the growth of more green plants, that there would be more to contemplate. Most of us might have an easier time contemplating grass than dust.

St. Gregory the Theologian wrote, "All creation sings the glory of God in wordless strain, for it is through me that God is thanked for all his works. In this way their hymn becomes our own, since it is from them that I take my song. Now the whole of the animal kingdom is smiling and all our senses are at feast." I would hope that we would not silence that voice of creation around us: the songs of the birds, the winds in the trees, the gurgle of a mountain stream.

Our Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew has written much on the topic including, "the ecological problem of pollution is invariably connected to the social problem of poverty; indeed, all ecological activity is measured and properly judged by its impact and effect on the poor."

I am coming to realize our individual and corporate responsibility on this topic. I am looking for the outlets for involvement. I am still coming to terms with the proper way to interact and co-work with individuals and groups who may share a love for the planet, but perhaps may not love it for the same reasons that I should.